Relationship Uncertainty

With each client I see in the King Street Clinic I become more and more aware of the hugely wide variety of postions people see things.  The more different those postions. beliefs are between couples the harder it is to bring them together.

I ask couples  to give me an idea of what they see when they look at their partner ... and then I ask them to look in a mirror and do the same thing.

"What do you see?  What do you really see? Sit in front of a mirror for 30 minutes or so and write down what you see."

When the client brings that back into the room I ask them what they think of that process and then ...  "How did it feel while you were doing it?  How does it feel now?"

If the result is an overly negative set of responses and reactions I will ask them to reframe or reconsider what they see to a neutral or more positive outlook.  I will always ask that process to include a clear understanding that whatever the response, it must be authentic.

If someone is very unhappy and can't see any other view, that then is the authentic belief, feeling, understanding.  and that it very difficult to live with year after year.

The hope is, reconsidering a viewpoint, discussing it, getting to understand that feeling wiull bring you to a better place.