If your friends or family like the same things as you it is easy to be yourself. It's when different things are wanted that the troubles arise. If you go along with the others, against your desires, then you are conforming or pleasing or agreeing just to keep the peace. If you rebel and go and do your own thing, the things you want, you risk cutting yourself off from the group.
Being well differentiated allows you to be yourself even when it is not appreciated or liked by others. You are able toy express your opinions openly without regard for the criticism of others. Of course, you have to hope that the people close to you will be like you… open and able to rethink their ideas and opinions when faced with dissent.
Sometimes families, like to continue the parenting, controlling, long after the child grows into an adult; long after the adult leaves the family home. The differentiation process continues for the individual all his/her life.
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